Elves, Ogres and Drama Queens: Stories of Digital Intrigue and Drama
While many dramas occur and are fully contained in the virtual world, there are interesting cases where the drama spills into real life. In the following narrative, a player describes how the drama spilled into real life before spilling back into the virtual world.
Dangerous Liaisons: An Accusation That Crosses into Real Life
(The names of characters in the following narrative have been altered to protect the identities of those involved)
Well, here's a story of guild drama that spilled over into real life. For a while, there was a person in the guild that went by the name of Vixen. She (and yes, it's a female playing a female, as I have met her in real life) was incredibly flirtatious on-line, even going so far as to apparently engage in cyber sex with some of the other guys in the guild (from what was relayed unto me).
Now, she was apparently paying extra attention to one fellow in the guild by the name of Ash. They sort of became an on-line item in a way. The real life component enters with the fact that the guild leader and his wife (this being the guild I was leader of for a good bit, but had since turned it over to a close real life friend when I got tired of dealing with all of the whining) regularly threw real life get-togethers for the guild at their house. Usually about once every six months, usually centering around the Super Bowl or 4th of July.
So, at their last party, thrown at this past Super Bowl (2004), Vixen and Ash met in person. According to the scuttlebutt, they had agreed to maybe 'hook up' if they hit it off upon meeting 'for real.' It should be noted that she was supposed to have engaged in 'cyber' with him in the game prior to this, as well as having phone sex with him. Now, these parties generally run all weekend, with some people sleeping at the host's house, some at hotels, some at homes of others of us that live in town, etc.
Vixen was staying at a local hotel. The first night of the party, a Friday, Ash was supposed to drive Vixen to the hotel at the end of the evening, because she planned on getting quite drunk. I and another guild member arrived around 10 o'clock, and there was a mass guys huddled in the foyer of the house. Apparently, Vixen was quite drunk, and was going around hugging and kissing every guy that crossed her path. Most of the guys were trying to avoid her, because they got tired of her being over affectionate with everyone. Some of them even resorted to fleeing upstairs when she got too close to the foyer. I myself managed to avoid her for most of the evening, but she finally sort of snuck up behind me and grabbed me. She asked who I was, I introduced myself, she replied she knew my character, and then she proceeded to grab me and kiss/bite me on the neck while squeezing the crap out of me. Then we talked for a few minutes before she wandered off to harass someone else.
Now, I could tell she was definitely drunk, but not falling down drunk, so to speak. Her words weren't slurred, she didn't have any problem standing or walking, and she could carry on a conversation without any trouble. Well, about 10 minutes after she accosted me, she and Ash decided to leave, so he drove her to her hotel. They both came back (he was staying at another hotel) Saturday and Sunday and both left town Monday.
Well, the drama part flared up a few months later when Vixen posted on the server message board in a thread about sex that she had been raped at a RL EQ party she had attended. She went on to say that a person she met at the party had taken her back to her hotel room and had sex with her, even though she was too drunk to consent. That after she had returned home, she had had to get a prescription for the 'morning after' pill, and had had medical problems as a result thereof. She also took shots at the party's hosts by saying that they turned their back on her.
She claimed this because she said she called them after returning home the day after the party to tell them she had been raped by someone in the guild, and as guild leader(s) what did they intend to do about it. They of course told her it wasn't a matter for 'the guild' and that if she was really raped, she should call the police if she wanted to press charges. They did express sympathy, but they told her they only had her word and that they didn't really see what they could do. I know them in real life (and have known them for, oh, about 15 years now, and I don't see them as being as harsh with her as she claimed).
So, to her, they turned their backs on her. Now, in her post on the server message board, she didn't mention any names, but for anyone that had been at the party, or knew of it through the game, it was pretty obvious who she was talking about, going by what she said and the descriptions she used.
The drama flared up because another close friend of the guild leaders that lives here in town saw the post, and then basically went off on Vixen in /tells in the game, accusing her of lying and making the whole thing up for attention. No one other than Vixen, the guild leaders, Ash, and one or two of her friends knew about it before that. This person, who goes by Khalon, didn't believe Vixen's story at all, and to be honest, neither did I or most of the others I discussed it with. Khalon was most upset because what Vixen said in her post made the guild leaders look uncompassionate and downright mean (once again, not by name, but it wasn't hard to figure out). So, when Vixen and Khalon got into it in /tells, Vixen of course, being a consummate drama queen (sorry if I didn't mention that before, but she was always a drama queen in guild chat, even before this incident) took it out into guild chat, which caused a flare up of people for and against her. This led to fights on the guild message boards, and Vixen calling for Khalon to be booted from the guild. When she wasn't immediately (though she was chastised and told to leave Vixen alone), Vixen took it upon herself to quit the guild and accuse the guild leaders and other officers of all sorts of things on the way out the door (which seems to be a common theme for a lot of people quitting guilds in the game, take pot shots on the way out the door).
Now, the reasons we don't believe her are quite numerous. For one thing, Vixen claimed she was so drunk she passed out in the car on the ride to the hotel and doesn't even remember getting into the room. Well, Vixen is a big lady, weighing in at a good 250 or so easy I would think. Ash isn't a big fellow, I'd guess he weighs maybe 140-160 or so, and not much of it is muscle. There's simply no way he could have gotten her out of the car and up into her room without her being awake to walk.
Another thing is, when she left the party, sure, she was drunk, but not nearly enough to immediately pass out in the car (at least not considering all of the energy she displayed running around trying to kiss guys goodbye), and the hotel she was staying at was only about 10 minutes away. Having experienced drunkeness myself, and seen it in others quite often, I don't think she would've come down that hard and that fast. I met Ash myself at the party, and he didn't seem like the sort to do it. I know, kind of cursory overview into his personality, but he just didn't give off that creepy sort of vibe. Add to that the fact that Vixen herself claimed that 'he probably didn't realize what he was doing was rape' and that he 'didn't have much experience with women' (those both said by her in her post about it on the server boards) leads myself (and the others in the guild that didn't believe her) to think he wouldn't have 'taken advantage' of her without her at least encouraging him in some way.
There's also the fact that she came back to the party the following two days and hung out around him. Granted, I've read about rape victims doing some strange things while being in shock, but going back to a place she didn't have to, and hanging around her attacker? Not once, but twice? That just doesn't sound like the behavior of a rape victim. Add to that the fact that she didn't call the police, or tell anyone in her real life family.
She did call Ash, and with a friend of hers in the guild listening in, she accused him over the phone, and the two of them more or less badgered him into admitting that 'maybe she hadn't said yes.' Then, she told him that if he quit the guild and the game, she wouldn't press charges. He did quit (not that anyone knew why other than the few in the know at the time).
When she posted about the rape and folks that knew him figured it out, there were more than a few that knew him quite well and didn't believe that he did it. Most of us don't really see him as quitting like that as a admission of guilt. To be honest, I think most guys might opt that way if they got to avoid being accused of rape and having the cops pay them a visit. Basically, to a good many of us, it seemed like you could call it bad judgment on both their parts, and then she was hit with 'buyer's remorse' and didn't want him around after that (especially given that she claimed to like playing the field in guild chat more than once, and Ash, according to others at the party, seemed like he wanted to hover around her at the party).
Sounds a bit callous I know, but if you'd interacted with her as much as I have, you'd understand what I mean by that. So, anyway, when she quit, a couple others went with her, saying that they didn't like the fact that Khalon could 'attack' her and not get booted from the guild. There was the usual whining and moaning on the boards for a few days, Vixen tried to act like the guild leaders/officers had screwed her over by saying some nasty things on the server boards, but it eventually died down. [CoH, M, 32]
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