I have seen three R/L husband/wife players in my guild divorce because one or the other or both started affairs with people they met in the game, plus there are at least as many more R/L "couples" that broke up and formed new liasons with other players. Almost all of this occuring among players within the guild. A couple people have gone through multiple partners. It is like the worst soap opera you could imagine. Of course, everyone takes sides when these things are revealed and eventually folks quit the guild or quit the game over it.

At first, I was appalled. Now I just assume everyone is doing the cyber thing.

It's not for me, though. I am just here to kill dragons.

I have been through this. An ex girlfriend of mine left me for a man she met in EQ. In the three years we were together I cheated on her with three different women I met in EQ. I have had sexual relationships with 11 different women in the 5+ years I have played, some of whom were married when we met and some of those got caught. It is more than a game for a lot of people/

Relationships are fraught and fragile things set in the unrealiuty of MU*s (or MMOs) with disastrous and perhaps unforeseen results. Perhaps we think that any game is fundamentally a safe occupation, and there's where our mistake lies. During my stay on one particular MU*, comments along the lines of "These games should carry Govt. health warnings" were genuine and frequent expressions of alarm, either at the amount of time spent playing or the unexpected result of over-emotional 'roleplay' affecting Real Life.

Probably the worst thing that can happen to a guild is for an unstable drama queen to be allowed to stay. Over and over I have seen a single player drive people away from guilds with their imagined intrigues. I know if sounds mean, but removing these people quickly is probably the smartest thing a guild leader can do.

Also, online romance is always an issue. Different people have different boundaries and they don't always communicate those well. Some people see the relationship as "real" and the others as just a part of roleplay. This should be established early on and one should always remember that "real life trumps in game every single time".

When I was a youngin' I joined a guild and formed a relationship with a female woodelf. She was an officer and would rain loot down upon me, which at that time was super great!

Well, as time went on, the relationship eventually crossed over into RL, and next thing I know I'm driving a couple states over to her house. Mile after mile I would get more excited as the antiticipation grew of the 1st face to face to meeting.

So finally I arrive at her house, knock on the door and the door is opened by a middle aged overweight man, and he called me by my in game name, Injektilo.

That's when I knew I had been had. But what the hell, I drove over 18 hours to get here, and he wasn't that bad looking given the circumstances !
I had a good time !!

I'm not even going into all the details of the worst guild drama I ever endured, but will just say it involved someone who presented herself(himself to start)ingame as a totally different person with some serious RL problems that were false, and then proceeded to announce in an online community, pretending to be "her" parent and sister, that "she" had committed suicide based on being kicked from the guide program. Oh, the outcry, and many non gamers who like to bash MMORPG's were up in arms over the dangers of online games.
It was documented in a story on Salon.com in October, 2002, and quotes a RL friend of mine who had been "her" friend and helped to expose the hoax. Drama ingame is one thing, but when it spills over into RL to this extent, it gets rather scary. A google search for "Sheyla" and "Everquest" will direct you to the article.

i've found that a large problem with online games is that the not exactly older players but more mature players (tending to be 15-30) often have to stop problems caused by litterally and figurativly, children (i've seen some as young as 8 and a member in my guild that is 36 O_o). One of the best things we find though is that if you can find at least one level headed member in a guild and make them the mediator(i do this part time) it helps to free up the guild leaders and officers who are quite frankly held up with larger problems. As for people with RL relationship problems, i've found the easiest apporoach to take was to infact just stay out of it, and when a huge soap opera breaks out it's best to just step back and argue both sides in a manor that shows the + and - of both sides.

If you can show this well enough the problems tend to put themselves out, and if they don't that's when they guild leader (I think) should give the offenders a warning, say you have 1 week to get over your problem or it is out of the guild for you. No problems between just two people should take the whole guild and if people have a problem with an approach like this they probably aren't stable enough to play MMO's like WoW and Everquest

I found out on my 30th birthday that me wife of 2.5 years and relationship of 7.5 years is distroyed over an MMO because my 25 year old wife left me for a 18 year old high school student from Tulsa Ok. I dont know what the hell happened but I came home from work to have her sit me down and tell me to cancel the house payments and that she wants to not have a family with me but with this 18 yr old high school student. They are going to live with his mom until he finishes high school and then start there family together.

I HATE MMO'S

Some people have issues...which is a massive understatement given some of the circumstances that could arise. Blaming an MMO is not the answer for anything, but rather the people. The internet in general breaks some boundaries regarding social interaction but there will always be those that take chatrooms/facebook/email/MMO's too far despite their RL situation. And of course those that just like to cause trouble.
It does a good job of broadening horizons but lets not blame the wider view for those that took the jump.